Out the other side, People.
The holiday was very nice. Really. I’m not sure why but it has something to do with the reality of aging and, at some point, denial becomes impossible. At least from an outside perspective. I think personal denial is different. It’s a crafty little fucker.
Our Thanksgiving dinner was smaller this year. My aunt passed away a few months ago and we only had immediate family over. It was actually the best way to do it. It wasn’t even that sad. As far as actually connecting with each other it was the best one yet.
As many of you know, I do all the cooking. I fly in two days early and literally cook for two days. This year was a little different in that I am vegan. I have nothing against meat or meat-eaters but I did try some new things and was able to make all the sides vegan, outside of the stuffing. My cousin’s daughter is also vegan so I had an ally in eating.
I’m realizing that no matter how cynical I am, or guarded in the form of funny, I am lucky to have my parents still alive and old because it really enables me to let the angry, needy kid in me shut up and grow. I know I’m late to the game with that and it’s been a long time coming.
There’s a strange acceptance to it. My parents are also not that much older than me. They had me in their twenties and that age gap at 60 is much different than it was when I was in my twenties. They seem to be my contemporaries, or just slightly older.
Also, dealing with my father regularly in his decline has forced me to have a level of acceptance that wasn’t there before. The slow death of dug-in expectations opens up an emotional connection that was never there. I wouldn’t say that I’m fully engaged. I live in a different place than both of them and I don’t see them that much. I am lucky they are both being cared for and are still (kinda) mobile but when I am around them I can see them for who they are now and deal with it. It shouldn’t be hard and it shouldn’t have been a challenge but it was.
I am okay with it all. I know there are hard events on the horizon and I will probably remain distant around dealing with some of them but that’s how I am wired. Thanks to them.
The point is cooking for two days and spending time with family was nice, relaxing even, and a little sad, but in an understanding way.
Given that I am a bit emotionally incapable of being fully open around either of them I was able to sit with it and with them and enjoy their company. The emotions came out a bit when I left.
I got to New York City on Saturday. I was laying in bed in my hotel at midnight and The Devil Wears Prada came on HBO. I watched the whole movie (again) and blubbered in my bed for two hours. I don’t know exactly what that's about with that movie but clearly the emotions had to surface. It’s a fun context for that. I try not to question it and just let myself have the feelings. At 2 a.m. The Master came on. I watched a half hour of that and it kind of stabilized and disturbed me. Both movies are about assistants with very different job requirements.
I started trying to get Albert Brooks on the show in 2011. It has happened. Today is the day. I will chart the history of attempts on the show. I was a little cranky about the fact that he came on in connection with the HBO doc about him, Albert Brooks: Defending My Life. I thought that the interview would be challenging in that there is now a whole documentary with him talking about his life. It turned out to be a great talk. It will work as a companion piece to the documentary. Almost totally different. Filling in some gaps.
It was a thrill to talk to him and we did it looking out over the ocean at the beautiful Georgian Hotel in Santa Monica. He didn’t want to come to my house because he’s allergic to cats and I guess he didn’t want me in his house either. It worked out great.
On Thursday I have a pretty thorough conversation with Jesse David Fox about the history of modern comedy and how we got here and what it means to the culture. He wrote a very thoughtful, smart book about it, Comedy Book: How Comedy Conquered Culture–and the Magic That Makes It Work. Good stuff.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
