Jokes are coming, Folks!
I didn’t know if they would. They usually do. I never assume they will. They are. It’s always a wonder to me.
I’m relaxed. My new zero fucks default position is in full effect. I love it. Just being funny.
I forget I just have to wait. Not even that long. I get done with an hour of material and I get depressed. I feel burnt out, depleted, uninspired. I lean into mundane tasks. By lean into, I mean get hyper focused on. Cats, cooking, yard maintenance, laundry, shopping for necessities, going through boxes, cleaning, personal grooming, exercise, polishing shoes, fixing shit, etc. Staying engaged in my life is the bedrock of my creativity. I know this all just sounds like life but it is consuming. While doing all of those things I take time to feed my head. Read, watch movies, TV, learn new things, parse the news, watch my peers work. Eventually things start to shake loose creatively.
It would be better if I just allowed myself the space and didn’t have a current of self-flagellation surging through me but that is what it is. I am grateful to earn a living with my creativity. The job is living and thinking. Festering and churning. Blurting and being embarrassed.
That is the biggest part of my struggle. Transcending embarrassment. It always has been. It’s one of the reasons I’m a comic I believe.
My mother embarrassed me constantly. It was the most paralyzing feeling through most of my childhood. It made me nervous and unstable but it was amazing training for standup. To literally stand in your embarrassment in front of strangers and squirm out of it with the funny.
I was at Largo the other night riffing. I got into some personal stuff as I am wont to do. It was too revealing and weird. I left feeling exposed and embarrassed and judged and ashamed somehow (I was generating most of that). I HAVE FELT THAT SO MUCH when I process shit on stage. I guess it’s taking that risk that eventually defines what I do. I hone the awkwardness and revelation of me.
So, that’s where I’m at. Again.
Today I talk to Ray Romano about our almost simultaneous start in stand up and out almost simultaneous pursuit of serious acting roles. On Thursday I talk to the amazing Lily Rabe about her roles and life and theatre and the new show Love and Death, which is great.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
