I’ve hit a wall, Friends.
It’s always the way it goes with the food.
I know how to eat. I know how to maintain good eating. I know it’s the holidays but, fuck. It’s like some kind of daily negotiation and the stakes keep shifting towards it doesn’t matter. Then, delusional thinking sets in. I think I can eat like a person that can eat anything. It won’t matter. There will be no consequences. False. I fall for it every time.
I know many of you are tired of me complaining about food or fat. Believe me, I am too. I know it’s a mental disorder I have around food and weight. I know. I also know the cycles. I’m just too old for this shit anymore. It’s ridiculous. What am I trying to prove and to who? I know that as well. Dumb.
All that said, I think I’ve had enough cookies and chocolate for a while. Oh, and carbs and candy. I’ll be all right. I’m just up against a fairly weak delusion. I can win this thing.
I have to be honest. I really didn’t feel the holiday. Not on a religious or spiritual level which I wouldn’t anyway. I didn’t feel it in any way. Usually, the quiet and slowness heading into the holidays starts to sadden me. I didn’t even notice it this year. Maybe there were some positive lessons during lockdown. Like, do I need to go anywhere? Is being alone and quiet bad? No. Good, actually.
I wasn’t alone all the time. Kit came by and hung out a bit. There was no celebrating though. We didn’t even think to. Nice.
I hiked up the little mountain I hike up on Christmas day here in LA. It was raining, which is always glorious in southern California. Primarily because it’s not fire and everything always seems to need water here so when it gets wet it’s like the entire landscape coming to life. The air clears up totally after a rain here. It’s just amazing. There was hardly anyone out and I hiked into a cloud. It was a nice way to spend Christmas morning. Alone, in a cloud.
I hope everyone had a good enough holiday and I hope your Covid isn’t that bad.
Today I talk to Aida Rodriguez about her new comedy special ‘Fighting Words.’ We talk about her unusual upbringing, not knowing her true ethnic roots or her real father and finding out about them both. On Thursday I talk to the amazing actor Rory Cochrane about some of the roles he’s done and his life a bit. Good talks.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
