Moving through it, People.
Sometimes I have to contract into a ball of fury and frustration and aggravated resignation to pop open again. I guess this is what growth feels like as an adult. The trick is getting more and more space between the contractions.
They’re getting more spread out.
It’s just been a very productive few days. But not in the getting things done way, really. In the creative way. I am acknowledging that. I take things for granted and sometimes I don’t process whats transpired in me over an arc of a few days so I can understand what the fuck is happening.
I think I finally figured out how to appreciate and feel the satisfaction of acting in film or television.
I was home in LA for a bit. I got back into the life. The one where I hang out with the cats, fix shit around the house, cook, hang out with Kit, drive around LA, do comedy, get preoccupied with a lot of maintenance tasks, go out to eat. In other words, being fully consumed by a never-ending list of things to do with the idea that I can do them all. It’s amazing to stay distracted and avoid doing creative work. I’ve been doing it all my life.
Then, flurries of inspiration take my brain to a new place. I’ve never had much control over the flurries but they come.
So, a few things happened. I came back to Vancouver on Thursday. I had one scene on Friday. End of the day. I had no dialogue. It’s me walking out of an RV after something happened. Must be literally 12 seconds of screen time with no real action other than walking out of the RV. I had a moment of inspiration about a couple of physical choices that could happen in the 12 seconds. I did them in the takes. I could feel them land. It was then I realized if I look at even the smallest scene there is an arc to it and I can play that and try to land it. Like a bit, a joke. If I feel it land I can get that satisfaction. If the director feels it land. We did it. How it cuts later is not my problem. Out of my hands.
I also did some comedy at a space up here and I think the room could be very productive for me. There are no established clubs around. There are comic-run rooms in establishments that usually have some adversity to them like seating, people, distractions. This place is called the Comedy Underground. It’s a basement space with low ceilings which are always good and it’s set up like a little club. It seats about 50. I did a spot on Friday and the next day something just gave way in my brain.
I realized that I am in one of the best cities. The weather is great. The people here are different than in the US because there is still a premium on decency up here. Fewer assholes and the assholes that are here aren’t armed or really that scary. So, the audiences were great for me. I promoted the Saturday spot on IG. Sold out the 50 seats and had a productive set. I came up with a lot of thought portals that could yield some big ideas and bits and worked them through in real time because of the intimacy of the place and the people.
It was exciting because staleness is soul death.
I’ve been using my time filling my brain with reading and working on standup, going over my scenes and focusing on the script I’m working on with Sam Lipsyte. A lot of good collaborative stuff happening. Discovery.
Look, these feelings could all be gone in a day or two. I just wanted my appreciation of them on record to remind myself why I do what I do.
Today is a sweet chat with comedian Stavros Halkias. Good guy. On Thursday I talk to Clarence Maclin about the new movie he’s in called Sing Sing and about his time in jail and the arts program that saved him, Rehabilitation Through the Arts. Great talks.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
