Flying again, Folks.
I’m in the air going home for a few days before I go out again for a few days. Then I’m back for a week or so before I head to Vancouver for the first bit of shooting the TV thing I’m going to do.
It’s very confusing. Part of me gets very attached to my patterns and routines of being home. It grounds me. It keeps me engaged. Even little things become very important because they kind of make up my life.
I get very anxious and crazy before I travel which leads to all kinds of future-tripping about what I have to do which alchemizes anxiety into dread and destabilizes me for however long it takes for me to get somewhere to do something.
Once I’m where I’m going and locked in it becomes a whole different life. Quickly. One that I am actually completely comfortable with. It’s a little tedious being on the road but I know how to do it. I still do it old school. I don’t have a road manager or entourage. I don't ‘fly private’ or have a tour bus. I rent cars and drive from show to show in other states. Usually with my openers. I guess the only thing I hope for is that I can talk to them and we can travel together. Once I get to know them it works out. I’ve never had an issue really.
Maddie Weiner opened for me this run and it was the first time I’d met or worked with her. I’d seen her vids and I knew she was a strong act. She’s a killer and she’s only 25. She’s funny as fuck.
That’s the nature of the game. I’m a veteran. I do what I do. If I look at it right, it's pretty great to see young acts doing something interesting and having their own voice and point of view. I’m glad I can see a new comic for the comics they are and not a threat somehow. It takes a minute sometimes, but it wins out.
I also don’t have any real perspective on how or if younger comics even acknowledge me or my work. It turns out that Maddie and some of her generation, which is two or three behind me, hold me in pretty high regard. Knowing that is actually one of the most rewarding parts of what I do. I am not a ‘big’ comic but I am unto myself and I’ve never been able to do it any other way than how I do it and I’ve done okay. I generally don’t give myself much credit because I’m always comparing myself to others and wondering why I’m not them. Not as much as I used to, which is good. When younger comics give me props, it hits me pretty deep that I’ve inspired or had an impact on them and my community and that it’s personal. It’s meaningful.
Not to sideline the audience I have built. The fact that so many of you come out to see me is somehow still surprising to me. The fact that you are all mostly grown up, decent, smart people is amazing to me. I truly appreciate you. Again, I don’t give myself much credit. That is changing a bit, as I said.
There’s some part of me, like a separate self, that has become very interested in my ability to show up and do all the things that I do. Like he’s a little dumbfounded that there's been this highly functional person taking him on this erratic ride that is my life and he’s pretty taken aback and a bit proud to be part of it. It’s positive self-consciousness. Crazy. I’m integrating myself.
Maybe this is the beginning of some genuine self-esteem happening. An unburdening. I won’t get carried away. Don’t worry.
I am sorry if I’ve had to reschedule a show that you had tickets for. I will make it up to you.
Today I have a fun talk with actor Chris Pine. He’s a good guy. On Thursday, comedian Joe Mande is back. It’s always good to talk to him.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
