Up and down, People!
I’m stuffed. I ate like a pig today at a BUFFET situation. Yeah, food, out, on a table. Wild.
I went to my first fully vaxxed party situation. It was a surprise party for my friend's wife. All the adults there were vaxxed and we were just hanging around talking and laughing like it was March 10, 2020. It actually didn’t feel odd AT ALL. Turns out talking to people in person and seeing their entire faces is just like riding a bike. Once you got it, it stays. I don’t know whether that’s good or bad. I knew most of the people there and we all just seemed to pick up where we left off which is to say just talking shit and catching up. I thought it would be more strange. It concerns me.
It was nice seeing more than just eyes and assuming everyone is either panicked or mad.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think this may be what phase one feels like. The ‘you made it through ok’ re-entry phase. None of us know what is left of the reality we left behind. How many of our peers have fallen off the grid? What will be left of the ways we filled our lives in the before time. Stores, restaurants, jobs, clubs, people, etc. I think most of us are just so excited to be vaccinated that it may be feeding some denial of what is really happening or about to unfold. Maybe not. I don’t know. We still can’t really do much comfortably here in Cali.
I know some people never stopped their lives and had to press on surrounded by real crisis for survival and/or occupational reasons. I have to assume that they feel relief as well. Well earned.
We’ve all paid some human dues over this time. We’ve all seen and felt real tragedy. We’ve all been terrified.
I made a choice not to compulsively chase my former life in a compromised way over the last year. I had the weight of grief on me and the idea of performing outdoors for distanced, masked crowds was too much of a sad situation for me to deal with for a few reasons. I didn’t eat at distanced places. Too sad. I minded my own business, kept my outreach on machines for people who engaged. I kept my friends close. I tried to stay in shape and keep it together. Outside of food being sent by people early on, I have cooked and eaten all my meals at home for the good part of a year. I KEPT MY SHIT TOGETHER. I DID THE WORK I COULD.
Now, we are phasing out and I am going to ease in like the rest of you. I am not going to rush in. I don’t feel like I have to make up for lost time. To what end? I didn’t lose any time. It was the time it was. We have been through something, many things. I have to see where I am with it, gradually. I have decided not to plan an extensive tour. Instead I will do a residency at Dynasty Typewriter here in LA and see if I can find my footing and where I stand on stage. Then I will do some selected club dates and start putting things together. Then, when it's solid, tight, I will take it out to the big rooms.
I don’t have to rush. There’s no race. There’s no urgency. Comedy is not some kind of team sport. I need to find the life or death thread of understanding that roots my comedy in my body. If it’s there.
If it isn’t. Fuck it. I did plenty.
Unlike Tom Jones I don’t feel like I have to keep pushing it out there just because I can. But, I am not 80. I may feel differently then, or even next week. I talk to Tom today. It was really engaged and fun. He’s 100 percent and firing on all cylinders. On Thursday I’ll share an exciting talk I had with John Waters a while back. Long time coming on that one. Great talks.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron