Doing the work, People.
We spent the day on the golf course shooting a scene.
I’ll be honest with you, I’ve picked up a club maybe twice in my life at a driving range when I was kid. I remember hitting the ball pretty well but probably only once. The second time, I didn’t do well at all. I had no idea what the point of golf was or how the game was played. I like whacking the ball and the couple of times I connected it felt pretty satisfying.
There was plenty of downtime on the set. There’s always plenty of downtime on the set. There are clubs and balls. There’s a couple of pro golfers. So, I got a quick lesson and took a shot at a couple of balls. I connected with the first drive. Got some air and some distance. It made that noise, that ping and crack. It felt pretty good.
I don’t think I will get the golf bug. I don’t think I really want to. Seems like it would take a lot of practice and time and the transcending of almost constant frustration.
I get it. The meditative quality of the process. The time outdoors. The shit talk with friends. The manageable competition. The challenging of oneself. It’s not for me.
I don’t have the patience. The discipline. I have the discipline for one thing. The focus for one thing. One creative outlet that I am passionate about. Comedy. It is part of me. It fits me. It’s my being. I’m pretty good at it.
I have the discipline and follow through for the podcast primarily because I am interested in people and like to talk to them. I need to talk to them. I need to engage. To get out of my head and into the lives of others. To engage empathy and understanding and learn new things.
Both the podcast and comedy are immediate. In the moment. Alive. Kind of infinite in creative possibilities if I have the courage to speak. Put it out there.
I guess golf is pretty immediate but unfortunately it’s more than just whacking the ball without any consistency.
Acting can be immediate. I want to love acting. I want to lose myself in it. I always wanted to do it. I’ve done it on and off for years. I’ve taken classes in my life. I’ve tried to make choices, take risks. I’ve been told I’m good at it but I rarely feel like I’m doing much.
When making TV you do small bits and pieces, out of order, sometimes over and over again. Then you wait and wait and then act for a few minutes.
I started to think that when you’re at the level I’m at, I can't really say I have a ‘craft.’ I started to think that for a lot of people acting is not a craft. It’s something you get away with in bits and pieces.
If someone wants to be an actor it may also be because they just don’t want a real job.
You get paid to pretend to be someone else. To be honest, it takes everything I have to just be me. I really just want to be me. I’m not pretending to be someone else. I’m just usually pretty uncomfortable with the self I am. Maybe I’m pretending to be me.
And I think most people spend much of their lives pretending to be someone else. Just control that skill and your acting.
The other thing about acting is, no matter your process, if you are successful there is no end to the amount of your shit that people will put up with. I am obviously not at that level in any way.
I’m no diva but the other day I had a call time of 1pm on set. I was sitting around waiting to do my two lines… for five and a half hours. I was keeping it together. It’s part of the job. I’m getting paid well. I just need to suck it up. But I couldn’t understand why they just didn’t have a later call time. Eventually my frustration and anger won out. I walked up to the directors and the producer and basically snapped a bit. ‘What the fuck am I doing here? Why was my call so early? It’s crazy.” The producer pulled me aside and asked me what’s up. I said, ‘This is why I didn’t even want to do this. I get that there’s waiting but this is ridiculous. I don’t want to be an afterthought on this thing.’ He was contrite. He said they were just getting the kinks worked out with the process and that I should’ve had a later call. He said I was essential to the show. He said all the right things.
I walked away feeling bad for losing it but on another level I felt like I had arrived. I’m an actor.
Today I have a great talk with Ed O’Neill. Thoroughly entertaining. On Thursday I talk to Ali Siddiq. He’s one of the best comics working.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
