Flying by, People!
Feels like just a week ago it was last year. I am trying to slow things down. Because I fear this year will be one of the worst years this world has ever known. I’ll wager to say, nothing will ever be the same after this one. There will probably be a type of bloodshed no one alive has ever seen. Sorry…
I don’t want to be negative. It’s all going to be fine. Or, it won’t. Right?
So much out of our control. We just don’t know what is going to happen, ever. Right. I don’t know. I feel like if you get yourself into enough routines and patterns and habits both in your life as ritual and in your mind as maintenance you pretty much know exactly what is going to happen day to day in your life. You can almost sleep through it.
Obviously, there is room for surprises and accidents and illnesses but I imagine people try to manage as much of their life as possible. I imagine that most people’s emotional life, outside of their family or maybe lack of one, is experienced through their phone of computer. You don’t even have to go outside for that.
The point I guess I’m trying to make is people put a lot of energy into knowing what's going to happen to the point where they don’t really engage in anything spontaneous or scary. The reason I’m hung up on it is there is SO MUCH out of our control and looking to control us to the point of what could be violence and chaos and so much brain fucking that it’s very hard to manage the possibilities. I guess I could stay in the present but the weight of the possible future makes that almost impossible for me.
I guess I could strengthen my non-existent meditation practice. That ought to do it. Slow it all down, quiet my mind, breathe. See if that will work. Lean into the big nothing for a bit of peace from the existential sledgehammer coming down from the future hard onto the anvil of my mind.
I can take it. I don’t have a soft brain. I will not be algorithmed into psychosis one way or another.
I don't know what I’m saying. I’m withdrawing hard from nicotine. This all the ranting of a deep need for relief from an insane craving. It’s exciting though, to touch base with raw need. To pull out all the stops. To take away the psychic dam and let that river flow.
It will pass. Or, I should say, all things must pass. Sure. That doesn’t mean it wont suck while they're passing. Like existential kidney stones in the dying body of culture. Hallelujah.
Today I talk to Joel Edgerton. He’s an amazing Australian actor. I love all his work. For real. On Thursday Greta Gerwig is back to talk mostly about her amazing year as the director and writer of Barbie. Love her. Fun week.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Money and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
