Stop the food, People!
I am strung out on carbs and sugar. Honey. The good sugar. Quinoa and Wasa crackers and pita bread. The healthy carbs (in my mind). The butters, peanut and almond. I’m out from under the ice cream. I am in the food pit, though.
I just can’t stop cooking. It keeps me sane. It’s just a lot of food. I start to hate what I cook because it’s really too healthy and all that I am left with is the angry desire to cook a cake or a pie or a bread and eat it angrily. I haven’t yet. This week. I smoked fish. Sable.
I over-brined my sable. Who hasn’t? Salty.
I’ve been thinking about it all. Doing the research. Watching the great films. Watching the challenging stuff. The Pinter scripts. I’ve been wondering what I am going to do creatively. I mean, I do Instagram lives in the mornings. That’s become a habit. I riff around and play records and chase my cat around. Is that really what I am doing? Shouldn’t I be creating a stage show? Shouldn’t I be putting a script together? Shouldn’t I be coming up with a pitch for a show? Shouldn’t I be learning how to do more with Garage Band than just talk into it? Who cares? I like to chase my cat around. We talk.
It is happening in the way it happens. Something is bubbling up out of my spinal fluid into the brain stem. I just need to coax it out. It’s being teased by triggers.
I guess enough time has passed for the great muse of coincidence to offer up some brain meat. It’s been a couple years since I watched two docs by Adam Curtis that sent me spinning. ‘HyperNormalisation’ and ‘The Century of Self.’ They seem to give shape to some threads of thought I was being spooled with. It took the full two years for me to integrate them and see what they yielded. The assessment of shallowness and the tragedy of passive engagement. The plague. An army of stupids searching for a status quo.
Now, he’s back with a six parter called ‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head.’ Perfect timing. Isolation, lock down, immobility, not talking to enough people. My brain is vulnerable and throbbing for new stuff and this delivers. I dumped two episodes into my mind the other night and it’s all there… conspiracy, power paradigms, constructions of self, global histories of the great colonialized mindfuck, what is real and what isn’t, AI being born, the draw of the darkness our minds manufacture because of fear and forces out of our control. I’m ready. I’m excited. I’m barely living.
He is a true artist in how he puts film together. I’m very happy to have my mind blown by his work.
It helps me connect the real dots. Right on time.
Today I have what I would call a very unique and special talk with the great Jodie Foster. I feel like we grew up together. Or I grew up at the same time as her and I watched her grow up through a bunch of different characters. Something like that. On Thursday I had another very special talk with Sam Neill. We had some laughs. I couldn’t stop trying to make him laugh. I don’t know why. It was fun.
Hope you found the love yesterday, enough to be simultaneously nostalgic and excited about possibilities. Markers. Buoys.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron