A year, People.
It’s been a year since Lynn Shelton passed away. I didn’t think that the anniversary would affect me. I mean, I think about it every day. I didn’t think a date marker would make a difference. It does. It has to. In both good and bad ways.
The bad ways obviously revolve around the fact that she isn’t here. As life starts to get back to engagement in the world there are those of us who made it through and many who didn’t. We are the ones they left behind but they are the ones that are gone. We can’t know what that means except to us. The ones left. So much sadness to go around.
It’s good to acknowledge the anniversary of a death. Out of respect for the dead but also to acknowledge where you are now versus then. I am beginning to see how grief has transformed me, humbled me, opened me up, cut through the bullshit of my being. It’s not growth anyone wants to do. It’s growth that has been thrust upon us, ripped from us, has come from being punched in the soul and kicked in the heart. You have no choice.
My heart goes out to people that had lives with her. People that have known her for years, since she was born, as a mother, a wife, an old friend. My history with her was so brief, cut short. I grieve a love that was realized and a life together that didn’t happen.
Once the trauma faded and the PTSD set in and waned the primary thoughts that carried me through the year were specific. I missed her. I wasn’t the victim, she was. I have nothing to feel sorry for myself about. Tragedy is not unusual, it is human and horrible and common and happens to people every day. Death is inevitable.
May her memory be a blessing.
That one is one you hear all the time. It seems trite. It seems too simple. It is a brilliant and deep way to contextualize grief. It is what you have to do so you aren’t destroyed by heartbreak and grief and nostalgic recall and self-pity and suicidal sadness. I had the love. We had it. I just didn’t have the time I thought I would. Do we ever? Keep her memory alive and keep the light shining within and honor her legacy somehow is all I can do. Keep her memory for blessing.
Jews get it. Deep stuff.
Yesterday Brendan McDonald and I were awarded the Governors Award at the inaugural Ambie Awards ceremony. The Ambie Awards are for excellence in audio, specifically podcasting. The Governors Award recognizes a podcast or individual for the compelling impact they’ve had on the industry. We’ll take it! We are honored and proud of our work. We work hard. We love what we do.
Today I talk to Eric Bana. He’s a great actor, an Australian and former standup comic. Who knew? I didn’t. Thursday, I talk to Rickie Lee Jones. Some heavy LA history. Great talks.
Enjoy!
Lynn Shelton lives!
Love,
Maron
Powered by