It’s over, Folks!
My birthday week is officially done. I turned 60 last Wednesday. I rode it out through the weekend. It was very eventful, but now I’m just 60. It happened and here I am.
I’m generally not big on birthdays. Many of you have been with me for quite a few. Some were totally uneventful and some were tragic for different reasons. I can’t even remember the last time I had a party or was thrown a party. There have been a few dinners. I’m not here or there with the passing of birthdays.
60 seemed different. It’s a big one.
I didn’t give a shit about 30, 40 or 50. 50 should’ve been big but it was derailed by a rather dramatic break up. I spent my 50th in a hotel room in West Hollywood avoiding my house and the woman in it. I ate dinner with my friend Ryan who was the only one who reached out. It wasn’t just a different time. It felt like a different life.
This birthday I did some stuff. On the day of the 27th, Kit and I went to my favorite Indian food place for dinner. I regaled (bored) her with horror stories about my early standup days. I seem to feel like reflecting. As I said before, it wasn’t nostalgic, it was reliving trauma. There was no better time for me than now. We had a nice night.
I told her when I start repeating stories she needs to tell me and start thinking about putting me down. Not insulting me, euthanizing me.
That is something I’m noticing that is different. I am acknowledging I’ve had a life. Sadly, when I look back I don’t usually feel that I have many friends. I assume that many of the people that I respect and like don’t really know that or don't think about it too much. Of course I have a few close friends and I know where we stand but in terms of people I wish I was closer to, I don’t assume that they even think about it or would want that.
So, I decided to have a party.
It was hard to decide who to invite. What kind of party did I want to have? Did I just want to have a blow out with as many people as I could cram into my yard there. Every comic and friend and friend of friend that I could think of? That seemed like a young person's game. I didn’t really like going to those parties when I was a young person. I’m too old for a kegger and finding those red cups for weeks after.
I did have to consider whether or not I wanted to try to make it a comics party or do something more specific. And by specific I mean people that are important to me and had an impact on my life. I went with that. I made a list of people from my past, present and future. By future I mean people I have met recently and want to nurture as friends. I really don’t make enough time for that and it’s not like I don’t have the time to at least try.
So, I invited a guy I have known since second grade. I invited a guy I’ve known since he was ten. Brendan flew out. Sam Lipsyte flew out. Steve Brill, who I went to college with, came with his wife. Jerry Stahl, Bruce Wagner, James Gray, Big Mike Marcus, Michaela Watkins and Tom Scharpling all came with their partners. Dr. Steve was there. Kevin Christy was there with his gf. Fred Armisen and Ricky Lindhome came. Sterlin Harjo came. Gimme Gimme Dan was there. Jon Daniel was there with Rene who were at both of my weddings. Steve Feinartz was there, filming and eating.
Of course, Kit was there.
I know you don’t know many of these people but they represent the full spectrum of my life. Past, present and hopefully future. It was a pretty perfect night.
The basic rule I made for myself was not to invite anyone who caused me stress or anxiety. It worked!
I also realized that whatever I think other people are thinking is probably way off. I know that in theory but these people all had a great time and they are all special to me for different reasons.
It was a fine night to initiate the rest of my life.
We had the party at Buena De Planta in Silverlake and it was perfect.
Today I have a nice talk with Les Claypool and then follow it up by talking with guitarist Marc Ribot. Great musician. On Thursday me and director Larry Charles hammer it out. Good week.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
A Pretty Perfect Night.
