Roading it, Folks.
New England, again.
It’s been great. I really don’t know why this tour is somehow revelatory to me personally. I think it’s the car time. The moving meditation of driving the familiar interstates. Seeing the almost-Springness of the eastern states. The crisp air and cataloging my past through memories attached to the geography.
I’ve talked about it before but I continue to look at my experiences as a young comic as somewhat traumatic. Paying my dues. I don’t regret any of it but it’s very hard for me to picture myself at that age doing the shows I was doing. Going up cold in non-comedy club situations for half hour opening slots and just doing the thing for locals out for a comedy night or surprised by it happening. The true terror of all of that and rising above it. Sure, it made me stronger but the cortisol and adrenaline and fury of it all definitely jacked my neural canals and created a shield.
Now, for fleeting moments, I can get under that shield and try to feel that terror again and what may have been beneath it and what drove me to do it and keep doing it. I cant answer that. I only know I did and I do.
I think that’s why I may be insisting on being my own opener. Going up cold and letting the show unfold. Now, with years of experience and the fearlessness that comes from that I can give that terrified kid from the past a break. Take in the excitement of going up cold and easing into it as a pro. Let the pathways reconfigure and ease and make it right for the old me. The me that was only thinking about getting that first laugh. The jarring transition from off stage onto the stage. Or onto a platform in the corner of a bar or the front of a hotel conference room or a dancefloor. The wild vulnerability of that. Taking that hit. Damn. Glad I can show up for the angry, terrified kid.
It’s been a great run. Every show. Tarrytown, Providence and Boston. I’m writing this the day of the Maine show. I did two shows at the Wilbur in Boston and both were almost two hours long. They were great for me. Returning back to the town where it started and going up cold and confident and excited. Revelatory.
I even know that two hours is unnecessary and too long actually. Some people had enough at an hour and half. Fuck it. It could always be the last time.
Today I talk to director Robert Eggers about his films The VVitch, The Lighthouse and his new one, The Northman. On Thursday I talk to the creator of The Bad Guys children’s books, Aaron Blabey. Great talks.
Enjoy!
Boomer, LaFonda and Monkey live!
Love,
Maron
Neural Canals.
