I miss the cats, Folks.
I guess it's time to come out.
I identify as a Childless Cat Lady Man. It’s a relief to get that out in the open.
I’ve spoken publicly many times about being childless and happy about it. Not happy in general, but happy. I’ve done a lot of material on it. Specifically about my life as a cat owner. I’ve also explored why it’s different but similar in terms of one’s ability to love a human being.
I have nothing against children. I have nothing against people who have them. I don’t judge their decision to have them though I have joked about it. This new framing of childless people being anti-American somehow is pretty fucked up and creepy. Especially coming from a political party that used to scream about big government and its power over our lives and freedom.
They’ve already made abortion illegal in many states. It’s also troubling, to say the least, that they seem to want to legislate against divorce. What could be more overreaching in terms of government than stifling physical autonomy and the ability to make decisions about your relationships in life.
I understand the christian nationalist agenda to legislate based on biblical morality which is in of itself anti democratic. Anti-American.
I am not too far from the compulsion to think conspiratorially. To speculate wildly. It is from this place that I posit the following ideas.
When children aren’t wanted or, for whatever reason, are forced to be brought up in a loveless or hostile environment they are wired by trauma. Whether the abuse is physical or emotional it stifles or destroys a kid’s ability to develop a grounded sense of self. They are set out into the word angry or shattered. Poorly parented. Over time, without guided introspection, that generational anger and despair can propel them into seeking strength from exploitative people that manipulate them into whatever their agenda is. Feed on their damage to serve their own purposes. When it’s political, this is the fuel of fascism. Now, I’m no professional and I’m just speculating, but damaged people can also lose control of their lives and become strung out on whatever makes them feel better at the risk of everything that dignifies life. Possible crime as well. Then they end up on the wrong side of the law and maybe prison.
Fascism and prisons are big business right now. So, whether it's in the guise of moral legislation or fear of becoming an ethnic minority, the drive to stifle personal freedom and force people to have children is scary shit.
Also, on a similar note, trauma and damage causing people to never feel whole is also a primary driver of capitalism on the consumer level. That’s another whole ball of wax and products.
Many people don’t have kids for many reasons. So what? Leave them alone. There’s enough kids in the world.
The act of self-sacrifice to put a stop to generational trauma because one doesn’t feel like they can parent properly should be commended, not shot down.
For me, I just never really wanted or thought about having children. That, in and of itself, is enough. Though the underlying reality is not wanting to continue family trauma.
So, fuck off. I’m okay being a Childless Cat Lady Man.
Today I have a delicate but good talk with Moon Zappa about her new memoir. On Thursday I talk to the very funny comic Blair Socci. Love her. Good talks.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
