It’s lifting, People.
I’m not sure if it’s age or growth or maybe both but I’m giving less fucks in general. Something has eased in my heart and my mind. I’ve started to envision a way to ease out of the stress and responsibility of the life I have chosen and live. In other words, a way out.
I’m not talking about ending my life but I am thinking about the end of my life. What that looks like. Where do I want to be? Will it be possible to enjoy some peace of mind as the world burns? Where can that happen? Just thinking.
It’s strange. I’m getting older but I just got an implant in my mouth. Why? It wasn’t a vanity thing. It was a practical thing. I’m going to need it to chew through the end. It’s a long process and I’m surprised I committed to it. I could’ve lived with the gap. If things seem like they are going to take forever and I can’t see an end to them, I usually don’t do them. Dumb. Time keeps going until it doesn’t and, at some point, you will get to the day and think, ‘this is when I would’ve been done with that thing if I had done it.’ Then you’ll regret not doing it. I do.
I committed to the mouth process though. They pulled a rotting molar out months ago and squirted some bone grafting goo into the hole. Now that’s all healed up so I went in and let them drill a hole into the fresh bone and basically screw a molly into it. They capped the hole with a tiny lid and stitched up along the sides. Now I wait a few months and my regular dentist crafts me a new tooth, snaps it in and then I can chew like a person again. This tooth will be the last man standing when everything else that is me rots. I’m fascinated with the weird precision of dentistry.
Everything seems to be shifting or changing lately. My body seems alien, my hair seems thinner, my skin feels different. It happens. Now is the time. I can’t fight it. I don’t want to be one of these older dudes who is dragged like a clown on leash by his frightened ego. I don’t want to do that publicly or privately. The older Boomers that came before me can’t stop thrashing. I want to be done swinging my dick around like I have something to prove by the time I’m approaching 70. I’m not saying I won’t want to use it occasionally, just the swinging it around part, maybe not.
I will have one bionic tooth though.
If you have the Full Maron subscription from WTF+, the latest Ask Marc Anything episode is available now. I answered listener questions about everything from Jon Stewart, retirement, eating disorders, Alaska, guitar playing, sobriety, Greg Giraldo, Howard Stern, and more. If you don't have a Full Maron subscription and want to hear this (as well as all our weekly bonus content and the full ad-free archives) go here and sign up.
Sunday was Lynn Shelton’s birthday. She would’ve been 57. Sometimes I picture her here just hanging out with me like it was just another day and we're talking about my tooth or a movie or food or just watching something on TV. I miss her. I miss what we could’ve been.
Today I talk to Simu Liu about his experience as an immigrant and his success in show business. On Thursday I talk to Whitney Cummings again about being Whitney Cummings now. Great talks!
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda Live!
Love,
Maron
Bionic Tooth.
