It’s a good disgusting.

Well, Folks-


I feel disgusting but I’ll get through it. It’s a good disgusting.

Before I get into that make sure you check out the “Out of the Garage Tour” 2013 dates to the left here and get your tickets if I’m coming to your area. I’ve been feeling pretty funny lately and the shows have been good.

I’m flying back from Raleigh, NC as I write this. The shows were amazing. Ryan Singer and Andy Forrester were on the bill with me and everyone kicked ass. It felt good. I hadn’t been down there in 15 years and the response was crazy. I want to thank all the WTFers for coming out.

I know I say this every time I go down south but I love it down there. The people are great and it’s a beautiful part of the country. There’s always part of me that thinks I could live down there. I went to dinner with Mac from Superchunk and Merge Records and his wife, Andrea. John Darnielle came as well. I was thinking, “These folks are pretty groovy, they dig it down here, I’m in.” That was before dinner. I think if I lived in NC or anywhere in the South I would be dead in months from pork and sugar poisoning. I just made that condition up but holy shit, did I eat down there.

It’s been a while since I did this but here is what went into me: Chicken and waffles (Beasley’s), greens, chess pie (twice; once homemade by Big A), homemade chocolate truffles (fan), espresso coffee cake (fan), German chocolate cupcakes (fan), Videri chocolates (fan), pastries (fan), more fried chicken (Bullocks), pork BBQ (Bollucks), hush puppies (Bullocks), ribs (Bullocks), mac & cheese (Poole’s Diner), crab beignets (Poole's Diner), pickled okra (fan), shit, there’s more but I have to stop. I can’t even look at that list. What the fuck is wrong with me? That was all in 3 days. AND someone made these ridiculously awesome cookies honoring episodes of the show.

cookies

Look, I love you folks, but you’re killing me. I hate to waste food so I’ll get most shit eaten. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Who knows? If I keep it up it will time out with me needing a new hour and I can work the fat angle, finally. For reals.

Big shows this week! Monday is Elizabeth Banks! She came over to the garage and talked about comedy, love, sex, babies and screen kissing. She’s solid. Great to meet her and hang out. Thursday is Dave Grohl! I went to his studio and talked about his new documentary, Sound City, which is fucking great. We talked about a lot of stuff but the movie is what is going on with him right now. It was a blast to hang out with him. Good guy.

I’m sitting in a plane seat with my belt loosened. Thanks NC!

Boomer lives!

Love,
Maron

I’m not a complete loser.

Okay, People


I’m not a complete loser. More on that in a minute.

All of the ‘Out of the Garage Tour 2013’ dates are up and tickets are available for them here, except for San Francisco. http://www.ticketmaster.com/Marc-Maron-tickets/artist/831852.

The SF show will be going on sale the week after 1/11/13. The pre sale will be on Wednesday 1/9 at 10AM til Thursday1/10 at 10PM.

That said, I am still in South Florida. I’m about to do my 5th of five shows here at the Fort Lauderdale Improv. I did what I could. I had some good shows. It’s always weird to me when most of the people in the room have no idea who I am and there is a smaller crew of WTFers. It’s difficult to straddle the gap between those who know me too well and those who don’t know me at all. I have to admit it’s a bit frustrating for me. I get too comfortable with you folks and then I have to make a bunch of strangers comfortable with me and, as you all know, I’m barely comfortable with me. But YOU guys KNOW that. I think I did well. I hope all the WTFers had a good time.

I am at the Hard Rock Casino complex and honestly have no idea how this is all a good time. When I left the show every night I had to walk through some kind of tackily overdressed multi-culti dance club clusterfuck. I have never been to one of those kind of clubs. Maybe once for a few minutes when I was younger but I felt like I was in the mouth of Leviathan and wanted nothing more than to get out before I was gnashed to death by the chaos and evil set to a Techno beat.

I was able not to gamble… much. I gave myself a limit, honored it and lost most of it. There’s still a few chips in my pocket so this could all change. By the time I get on the mic for Thursday’s show I could be broke and on some kind of new compulsive bender. We’ll see.

On this show this week I talked to Jakob Dylan. Initially I didn’t really want to do it when I was offered the opportunity because I knew there was no way I couldn’t talk about his father and I knew he didn’t really like talking about him. So, I turned it down. Then his people said he would talk about him but not too much. So, that was the challenge for me—trying not to talk about Bob Dylan too much with his son. I’m not sure I pulled it off but I did start to wonder who Jakob was protecting—himself or the myth that is his father. On Thursday I talk to Seth Green but oddly I talked to him after I made him listen to Bob Dylan on my new stereo.

Enjoy.

Boomer lives!



Love,
Maron

My cynicism is fading.

Happy merry whatever it is for you, my friends-

So, gigs first. I will be announcing the dates for the ‘Out of the Garage’ tour the first week of January. For now I will be at the Improv in Fort Lauderdale, FL, Jan. 4-6. I will be at Goodnights in Raleigh, NC, Jan. 10-12. I will be at The Wilbur Theater in Boston on February 8th doing a live WTF and a standup show as well. Come out if you can.

My cynicism is fading. I was feeling depressed like I usually do around this time of year. I blamed it on the season and all it’s ridiculous pageantry and panicky gift hoarding. I thought I was resisting the holidays and it turns out I just wasn’t doing anything. I thought I was fighting the merry momentum but I was just detached. I have done nothing for the holidays. It is not part of me to participate. So, why should I be cynical? Why can’t I just admit that I may be jealous of people that have these family and religious traditions to participate in? It’s easy to complain and criticize the consumerism and empty iconography of the holidays but as I get older I realize that whatever gets you into the mood to give and spend time with friends and family, even if it’s grudgingly, is not all bad. Life is weird and short and disappointing. Sometimes you have to be dragged by ridiculous, tired expectations and rituals to actually connect. It’s okay. Look, what I’m saying is, sometimes you just have to shut the fuck up and try to enjoy yourself. It’s not all about you.

I love giving presents. I like it more than getting them actually. I just don’t like deciding what to get and I don’t like getting them for people I can’t hand them to. I think I did all right this year. It’s just me and Jessica and I got her some nice stuff. I only got her one gift card which is good. I think they are kind of a cop out. No tree, no singing, just a lot of downtime together. I can make it.

Fun shows this week. On Monday I had opportunity to talk to the fellas from Blues Traveler. I hadn’t thought about them in a while but I do know that John Popper is one of the greatest fucking harmonica players I have ever heard and I really wanted him to play in the garage. So, that happened. Also, he and guitarist Chan Kinchla had great stories about being a bar band, Bill Graham and New Jersey/New York. Good time. On Thursday the legendary Jonathan Katz and his production partner Tom Snyder talk about their old collaboration, Dr. Katz Professional Therapist and their new collaboration, Explosion Bus. We also meandered through music, parents, Mamet, MS and other topics.

Love to all. Seriously.

Boomer lives!


Enjoy,
Maron

I looked at houses today.

Okay, People-

My heart goes out to everyone with children in aftermath of this horrible tragedy in Connecticut. The fear and reality of something so evil actually happening has got to destroy one’s faith in anything to protect your kids. My heart goes out to anyone who lost someone in this horrible event. I hope you are getting the care and support you need.

I will be at the Improv at The Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale on January 4th through 6th. Get tickets now. I will be appearing with Mike Lawrence who will be featuring for me. I will be a bit north from Florida in Raleigh, NC January 10-12. Looking forward to it. Get tickets and come out.

I went out and looked at houses today. I’m not necessarily looking for a house but passively I mentioned the possibility of buying a new house to Jessica at some point. This means sometimes when I’m lying in bed going to sleep and she is looking at her iPad I ask her, “What are you reading?” In response she will shove the iPad under my nose and I will be looking at a house. She says she likes looking at houses. My problem is I can almost always see myself living in another house. I can’t see myself buying one. It seems overwhelming to me. Not unlike having a child. I get anxious, scared, short of breath. I know they are connected. If there is a baby, there will be a new house. If there is a new house, why not a baby? I’m cornered.

I ask myself, “Where do I do the podcast? Where do I put my books? Where do I arrange my clutter?” Then I think maybe this is what I need to do to actually go through my shit and get rid of stuff. Then I wonder what if Boomer comes back and we’re not there. Crazy. Of course, I’m not even sure I can afford to move but when has that stopped anybody. We’ll see.

On Monday I talk to Jon Favreau. I met him at an event, asked to come to the garage and we made it happen. He’s a great guy. He admitted to listening to a lot of WTF episodes to prep so he was ready. I’m not even sure I needed to be there. He knew where I was going. On Thursday NYC comic Liam McEneaney talks booze, Buddhism, mental illness, the death of friends and his new doc “Tell Your Friends! The Concert Film.” We had a great chat.

Enjoy.

Boomer lives!



Love,
Maron

I’m full of meat.

I’m full of meat, People-


First off, Florida, I will be at the Fort Lauderdale Improv January 4-6. It will be Mike Lawrence and me. Should be interesting. Will be funny.

I have to say that the shows in Philadelphia were great. We sold out all five and the audiences were awesome. Thanks for coming out if you did.

Now, on to the meat. I have a geographical eating disorder. If I travel to a city I insist on eating whatever regional cuisine they have to offer. Especially if it’s something I can’t really get anywhere else and it’s fundamentally bad for me. Philly is a meat town, meat sandwiches to be more specific. I have been to Philly before and had one of the best sandwiches in my life there at DiNic’s. It was Italian Pulled Pork with broccoli rabe and sharp provolone on a long roll. It was fucking spectacular. I had it two years ago and still think about it. So, needless to say, when my plane landed at 5 PM I had the driver push it as fast as possible to get me to Reading Terminal to grab a sandwich at DiNic’s before it closed at 6. I made it, but they were out of the Italian Pulled Pork. I didn’t freak out, much. I had 3 days to meat it up. During my stay I ate the sandwich at DiNics. I ate a Paesan at Pesano’s and a Roast Pork at John’s Roast Pork. My entire trip was about comedy and sandwiches. Not so bad but there are other things in Philly. Like Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. Did I make it down there to take in the roots of America? No. I did not. None of the sandwich places were nearby and I don’t really know too much about that stuff anyway. What was I going to do? Go down there and read half a brochure and then speculate about history. I do know this: DiNic's was the best sandwich. Next time I'm in Philly it will be Cheesesteak-centric. I did not get to that this time.

st maron

I did make it over to the Philadelphia Art Museum. I did not take the Rocky picture. I went in to see Dancing around the Bride: Cage, Cunningham, Johns, Rauschenberg, and Duchamp. I had an hour before the place closed. So I ran, cramming abstraction, sounds, splatter and screens in my head. It was amazing. They were some musicians in the middle of the space playing Cage music. A guy with a computer plugged into a box of wires, a guy playing a guitar laying on the floor with a tuning fork and a guy blurting and running through an alto sax. I had a belly full of meat from South Philly and I was wandering through the work of the defining visionaries of the American avant-garde. Whatever happened down there in Independence Hall enabled what I was experiencing to happen. America. Noise is music.

On Monday enjoy the live WTF recorded at Riot LA with Andy Dick, Ron Lynch, Chris Garcia, Lance Bangs, Eddie Pepitone and Jim Earl. It was a doozy. On Thursday the Irish comic Dylan Moran hangs in the garage.

Boomer lives!



Love,
Maron

Tastes settle in better overnight.

Look at yourselves!

How is everyone feeling after the gluttony? I don’t even want to hear from anyone who says, “It wasn’t so bad. I didn’t overdo it.” To hell with you. I overdid it and then I overdid it again the next day. Then I proportionately beat myself up.

Before I get into the food thing, the “Boomer Lives'” t-shirts are going fast. I'm not sure if I'm going to make more so grab them if you want them. One dollar goes to help animals somehow. Working on that. I also filled the merch store with stuff for the holidays if you want to gift that shit. Do it up.

Leftovers taste better than the actual meal. So much fury and energy went into preparing the food that by the time I sat down to eat it I could barely taste it. I inhaled though. I don’t know why I do that. I literally spent two and a half days preparing like 6 dishes and a turkey and gravy and I swear I ate two plates of the stuff in like 7 minutes. The next day I paced myself and enjoyed the meal. I think tastes settle in better overnight, too.

Everything went well in Florida with the mother. I only had one meltdown and it was Brussels sprout related. I’m sure a lot of you have Brussels sprout related trauma of one kind or another that probably happened when you were younger. I love the things. This wasn’t a sprout related trauma but a Whole Food related rage. As many of you know, I don’t like shopping there, at all. I always feel like I’m being ripped off and that they really aren’t that good at being grocers, i.e. rotating and paying attention to stock. I went in there with Jessica to get some ingredients for her vegetarian-option dinner and I just decided to go ahead and buy the Brussels sprouts there. I was going to roast them. I bought 7 of the little netted bags of them. I usually buy the stalks but the ones they had looked nasty. That should’ve been a red flag.

You can’t really see what is going on in those bags. I started to prep them late Wednesday night and as I went through them my rage escalated. Two out of three of the little fuckers were browning. That’s not unusual but as I peeled them back they were browning all the way through. Some of them were slimy. I was livid and screaming at vegetables, my mother, my girlfriend and maybe even God. Mostly I was cursing Whole Foods. I should’ve gone back but it was too much of a pain in the ass. I was able to save enough to serve but fuck Whole Foods, again. Fuck them.

Outside of that everything went pretty well.

I’ve very excited about today’s show. Back in the early 90s the band Dinosaur Jr. had a profound effect on me. I had never heard anything like them before and I’ve been a big fan ever since. Jay Mascis is the genius behind the band and I talk to him in the garage. He is not a big talker but I was honored to have him. Hang in if you don’t know him. If you do, I hope you dig it. He plays two songs at the end that will blow you away. On Thursday the old emperor himself is on the mic—Budd Freidman. The man behind one of the clubs that spawned modern comedy—The Improv. Good history here. I used to be terrified of the guy. I still am a little. Enjoy.

Boomer lives!



Love,
Maron

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